One day I was trawling the chilly meat section of Metro Cash & Carry. As I picked over the boneless, skinless chicken breasts, I heard a hilarious exchange between a well-dressed woman who sounded like she hailed from Australia and her leather dublyenka-clad driver.
Woman: Sergei, this meat…it’s what?
Driver: Eto zhe barashka. (That’s lamb)
Woman: But what kind of meat is it, Sergei..is it beef or pork or…?
Driver: Nu, eto zhe barashka (Well…it’s lamb.)
Woman: Sergei, is it…well is it moo moo moo?
Driver: (with emphasis) Nyet nyet…eto zhe barashka!!
Woman: Is it pork? Is it oink oink oink
Driver: Eto zhe —
The Moscovore: No no…its baaaaahh baaaahh baaaahh!!!!
No one should have to go through that kind of agony in public, I thought to myself. This may well have been the moment that The Moscovore was conceived. So I invented a whole bunch of bi-lingual shopping lists, which are available for download here.